The Pros and Cons of Being in a Multicultural Marriage

hudie Germany, International Living, Latin America, Living Together 0 Comments

Now, after seven years of relationship, and now that we as an international couple living in a third country have been officially married for almost a year, I can talk about the wonders and contradictions of being in a multicultural marriage.

As you all know, I am Venezuelan and my husband is German. Luckily, we happily live in China!.

Honestly, the beginning of our physical life together was full of challenges and constant misunderstandings, but due to our true love and the conviction that it would work out, we just made our life together a truly sweet adventure.

If you are in a bi-national relationship looking for positive similar experiences, this post might be of inspiration for you. Stay with us, and discover what most of the people might find negative, we can convert it to be fun and positivity!

Here we go:

PROBLEM #1: We both have different backgrounds in culture, family and traditions

yes…so:

  • We are both open to learn effectively about each other’s culture and each other’s way of handling things.
  • We agree that a family that shares two cultures, two languages and two lifestyles is just so rich! Having a foreign husband means I can pick the things I enjoy from his culture and from my own, and integrate it all into our own, unique family culture…surely, very fun too!
  • We find each other fascinating, no matter how common we truly are back home
  • Our usual-life is always interesting because we always deal with many exciting and strange things from each other. Some of the most basic things I do, learned previously in my home-land might be so clever for him, as well as for me his ways always look sophisticated.
  • Our usual-life is always interesting because we always deal with many exciting and strange things from each other. Some of the most basic things I do, learned previously in my home-land might be so clever for him, as well as for me his ways always look sophisticated.
  • We can always reside easily at least in two countries.
PROBLEM #2: The Language

My husband is completely fluent in Spanish but I am not in German and so when we go to visit his family I usually get lost in conversations, ending up being an outsider. It is not easy, and I can imagine how difficult it might be for couples who don’t have a language in common. However, with the arrival of our first child and Daddy speaking German to him-her, I am confident and positive that it will help me too! After all, language is a muscle or we use it or we lose it and being in a German speaker environment will help me greatly! Crossed fingers!!

PROBLEM #3: We are far away from Family

There is not real time or physical ways to be close to our families and the fact of being far might be a bit sad at times. As a result our future children might not be able to form close relationships with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins; but getting married sometimes means spread the wings and start creating our own families with the person we chose. However, there is always Skype, normal phone calls, email or social media to keep in touch. So in the case of the future children, we know about people who Skype with their grandkids everyday and somehow make it work. Its a matter of trying and insisting.

PROBLEM #4 : Flight fares are expensive

Since our respective families always find excuses to not come and visit us, we are the ones traveling to see them. We intend to do this every 2-3 years because some members of our families are in the elderly years and we want to be able to see them as much as possible… although, of course it is very costly. However, with a good money management plan it might be possible and at the end worth it.

Recently, I was realizing that together we can not only earn more money but we can also lower expenses and save extra money. If we both are earning, then the two incomes contribute to financial security. Marriage also provides financial stability besides companionship. Another plus!

PROBLEM #5 : Not having Cultural Memories from a common childhood or youth

This can be a tricky one because while sometimes it can be fun to learn about the different ways in which each other grew up, it would be fantastic to be able to identify with youth or child memories.

In many occasions, it occurs to me that the music that brings me the most touching memories means absolutely nothing to my husband and because the difference in taste and styles, it can in times be even annoying for him and frustrating for me.

Of course it would be nice to enjoy the same melodies or just mention a song or TV show and that my husband would instantly know what I am referring to. However, the important thing is that we are both willing to be respectful in front of the other’s taste and sacred moments and let each other enjoy whatever we like.

PROBLEM #6 : What if we divorce?

Yes, as all in life it is actually good thinking in the catastrophe too. Generally, it will be a difficult decision to make when compared to those who live in the same country and especially when there are children involved. But surely, there is always a way for everything.

Nevertheless, we have plans, we travel, we have goals and dreams in common so knowing we are meant for each other is an added plus that let us relax in this matter.

As I see it these challenges make it very entertaining to live as a multicultural couple about to start raising a multilingual child, thus we remind other couples in similar situations that if you are both foreigners in a foreign land, together you have to learn to lean on one another for support and love along the way and embrace that you have an interesting life, not a boring one.

Finally, I can say that despite the hardships that an international marriage can bring at times, I would never, ever exchange it for anything else. We are truly lucky to have found one another.

Are you married to someone from another country? What is your experience about it? Tell us about it!

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